Monday, April 12, 2010

Loooong Update!

The latest is my IGF-1 is 384, and doctor says normal is up to 368. Can't remember what my GH was, but it's always under 2 with the OGTT. Since I'm still at this "almost normal" level my doctor wants to put me on a low dose of Cabergoline. He's concerned about potential cardiovascular problems. My blood pressure has been averaging about 125/80, which is good, but still not ideal because it does spike up near hypertensive levels when I'm under stress. I really don't want to take the Cabergoline though. I've fought not to take medications I don't need, or to get off medications I don't need. I've had bad side-effects with every medication I've taken, and I also wonder how I'm harming my body internally by taking these medications. And truly, those side-effects make taking the medications not worth it to me. I also suggested going from 40mg of Sandostatin every 4 weeks, to every 3 weeks instead. My blood pressure has greatly improved this last year that I've been on the 40mg. I was told there really isn't enough evidence to support that would be effective.

So now I'm stuck wondering if staying at this "almost normal" level is ok? If it's all I'll ever be? I don't know if I have a chance at normal. I feel like taking these other medications may put me at unnecessary risk. I already have a myriad of symptoms that aren't controlled by the Sandostatin. I've dealt with them as they came along. I've constantly complained about the fatigue, the headaches, etc., and my doctors tell me they don't know what's causing it. My thyroid and other levels are normal. But it greatly affects my quality of life. I didn't realize that I'd never explained to my husband in depth how this fatigue affects me till the other night. I've been dealing with this ever since 2006 at least, when I was diagnosed with Acromegaly. I guess I just blogged about it.

The fatigue is with me daily, and usually headaches too, although I have less since getting off the bp med Diovan. Dragging myself out of bed every day is an effort, socializing, staying on the computer more than an hour, driving more than 30 minutes, reading....anything that seems to require my concentration for extended periods of time seriously fatigues me. Standing for long periods, walking for long periods, just doing weekly grocery shopping fatigues me. It feels like there are hands compressing my head, my scalp feels tight, my shoulders feel like there is a weight on them. My face even feels like it's being pulled down, like there's a weight on it. If I don't have a headache already, I usually develop one on the left side, along with the muscle pain on the left side of my head and neck. And my memory and concentration are horrible. My short term and long term memory seem gone. I get tired or easily distracted when people are talking to me, or when I'm trying to read. I have to constantly tell myself to pay attention to what they're saying, or I have to constantly re-read sentences. I've turned to caffeine to help me concentrate, but it only helps so much. I have a hard time understanding people too, which is weird. It's almost like I'm dyslexic, which I know I'm not. And I'm harder of hearing now too.

I've tried to exercise regularly but seem too tired/not motivated enough to continue. About a week or two is all I manage before I stop. And the exercise is a problem too. It doesn't matter how little or how hard I work out, I always end up with muscle pain that lasts a few days to a week, and is in fact quite annoying! Why would I want to continue working out when I know this pain is what I can expect? About the only thing that seems to help with the fatigue is laying on the couch prone or almost prone with my feet up. Closing my eyes for a rest, or sleeping also helps. I can watch tv without getting too fatigued. Yay for me, that's the only activity I ever wanted to do for the rest of my life right?! I'm only 33 for Pete's sake! I can do other activities, for instance I went rollerskating at a rink a few weeks ago. It was my first time in probably 20 years, and it was so fun! But I had to push myself the whole time, like I normally do with any activity that requires my concentration. And then afterward I had to deal with the muscle pain for the next week plus. And the sad thing is how much I was looking forward to getting home and resting, like always nowadays.

A friend of mine mentioned she was recently diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I'd heard of it before but never considered it. I looked into it though and it looks like I have a lot of the symptoms. It looks like it's hard to diagnose though, and that you must rule out a lot of other things first. And even if I'm diagnosed, really what is the treatment? Especially when I don't want to take more pills that I don't need to take, or pills that will give me side-effects I don't want.

I'm so completely frustrated by my condition right now. I really feel like I look great visually, I think I look almost normal. I'm so grateful the Sandostatin has given me that back at least. Developing the Acromegaly monster's appearance sure isn't every girl's dream! But I don't FEEL normal at all inside. I was a week late on my Sandostatin shot last week due to a doctor's office mix-up, and I was a basket case! I was so irritable, more so than normal. And I was in tears twice, which is not very normal for me. And they were the kind of crying jags that could've lasted forever. I was having a terrific pity party for myself. So what now? I have no idea where I go from here. I'd almost rather take the option of staying at this "almost normal" level with the knowledge that I'll probably die a few years younger, or even quite a few years younger. Rather than worsen my quality of life with more medications, and prolong my misery.

So right now I'm trying to really work on improving my health any way I can naturally. Considering I can't seem to keep a regular exercise schedule (although I am still trying), I'm getting stricter with my diet. Which is hard to do considering I have 3 growing kids, and a husband who doesn't help much in that area! I'm trying to drink green tea once a day at least, since it has cancer fighting properties, as well as helping to slim the waist. I'm trying to kick my sugar habit cold turkey, I have a feeling that won't work but I'm trying. I'm limiting natural sugars. I'm trying to eat oatmeal a few times a day since it's supposed to be good for the heart and the waistline too. I'm working on controlling portions which is very hard because ever since I've gotten Acro I've had a monster appetite. But the main problem for me is sugar I think. I'm hoping once I curb that craving, the fat along my waist will disappear and I'll have a normal blood pressure. I'm hoping that regulating my diet will help improve the Acromegaly and other symptoms I have.

2 comments:

One Creative Queen said...

Hi Jenny -

I actually came across your blog while looking up acromegaly regarding my son. He's almost 14 and grew about 6" in about a month, and has had these terrible joint pains for about a year. Especially in his knees. We've gone to the dr, who diagnosed him with osgood schlatters. I feel in my gut that isn't what he has - and when I watched a segment on a man with acromegaly, things seemed to just "fit". Anyway, while looking online, your blog popped up. I'm really glad it did.

I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone - not even close. :)
I'm 36, a single mom of 3, have always "looked normal", and a few years ago, I began having strange symptoms I couldn't make sense of. I was eventually diagnosed with PCOS (weird!) and probably Cushing's Disease. Cushing's is so hard to diagnose - so one test says I definitely have it, and the next says I don't.

Anyway, there's the very short synopsis of me - and we seem to have a lot in common. I don't have acromegaly, but I can so empathize with being too young to feel so crummy (and fatigued!!), the change in appearance (I gained 100 lbs in about 6 mos), the memory lapse...all of it! I can also understand the frustration with insurance and the questions about whether medications are truly helpful - or harmful. I go through the exact same issues - and I get so irritated when I'm fatigued (after doing nothing) and I have to deal with idiots...who all seem to work for my insurance company, my dr's office, or the pharmacy I go to. :)

You are the first person I've heard describe the fatigue as having weights pulling you down - I explain my fatigue to my dr like that and she looks at me like I have 9 heads. (If I did, maybe I could remember stuff - or keep a better eye on what my kids are up to. lol)

Your blog just touched me and I wanted to send you hugs and some understanding. We may not have the same diagnoses, but I know what it's like to be young (I swear - 30 is not as old as it seemed when I was a kid!) and just feel...blah. Crummy. It's obnoxious and I'd like to give it to someone else, please. I've had my fill. My empathy has grown as much as it ever will...so can't this go affect someone else now?? (Not that I want anyone to feel like this. Well, ok, besides my ex-husband. lol Kidding!)

Hang in there. I'm going to follow your blog and keep checking in on you. I think it helps to know we aren't struggling alone - the idea that others are making it, even with their "junk", makes it easier for me to get on with it. I'm just glad to put a name with a face, since I was apparently at a few of your pity parties. Yeah - that was me, over in the corner, smeared mascara and wondering WTH??. ;) Next time we'll have to say hi and properly introduce ourselves.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to email me anytime - I'm happy to listen. I can also provide a little sarcasm regarding the medical community. I was a paramedic before I injured my back...so I have a right. I've been on both sides of the gurney - and I'd really like to find where I return my ticket for this side, so I could return to the other side. This side isn't nearly as glamorous. Besides - who can possibly look good in those boring gowns?? I think I'll take my BeDazzler with me next time I have lab work or a procedure done. Blinging up those Band-Aids and hospital booties and "party" hats must do something for your attitude, eh?

Hang in there - and write if you'd like. Most of all, take good care of yourself!

xx,
Katherine
queenkatherineATgmailDOTcom

PS - My word verification is "goxanta". That will definitely be my word for tomorrow. Now, goxanta...in peace.

Starbucks Addict said...

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sorry both you and your son are having problems. I hope to help people when I blog, and I'm glad when people share their stories and help me too! I like to learn from others, especially considering my doctors don't seem to know anything helpful!! And I really appreciate your sense of humor. I'm glad you were at the pity party with me :-D It really does help to know we're not alone. You take care too and good luck.